Telemarketers beware

Ok, i know my life is really great and I shouldn't complain, but this is just comical.

Today has been a little rough due to a lack of sleep. Nonetheless, everything is pretty ok except that I ordered this air cooler and it was supposed to arrive today but hasn't and doesn't look like it's been shipped yet. So I emailed the company from who I ordered it and was getting ready to go to the store (which I've been avoiding all day so that I could be here when the package arrived. Anyway, by "getting ready" you should read "on the can."

So I'm having my own little private moment and Rhianna is perfectly happy and then boom! Crap. What was that? Pause. No cry -- ok so either it's super serious or something just fell and it's not on top of Rhianna. Of course, I can't just wait to find out so I stop my "business" and check it out. Luckily she was in view in the middle of the living room so with my ass still bare, I just had to pop my head out of the bathroom to see and she'd just knocked over a toy. No blood, no bruise, no foul.

Ok, resume business at hand. Sit down. Relax. Phone rings. I can't just ignore it because it might be the cooler people and I want my damn cooler. Quick wipe (insufficient though it was, would avoid any skidmarks as long as I returned to finish later), run to get the phone, pants pulled up enough so that the guy mowing outside won't see anything indecent. It was the cooler people. They will be following up. Great, problem solved. I can now go to the grocery store without worrying that I'll miss the shipment (thus having to drive to the airport to get it). Time to resume original business.

Quick check and Rhianna's happily watching the Mom-needs-a-moment video known to all new moms as "baby einstien." Ok return to bathroom (this time with the phone just in case). Ah. Relax. Get to your happy place. Ring ring. DAMN! Seriously! Ok. At this point, I have to make known that I really have a problem with people talking to me on the phone when they are on the can so I make it a point not to indulge in this. Nonetheless, at this point, an exception had to be made. I stopped my "business" so at least there wouldn't be any telling noises on my end. Hopefully it will be someone I know and I can just ask to call them back in 2 minutes.

"Hello?" Pause. "Hello?" "Yeah, this is Qwest...." PLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLUHHH. (internet translation for me letting it rip.) Sorry telemarketer. Not a good time to disturb Mommy. "No, there's not a better time to reach her."

Mommy emerges from the bathroom, hands washed, toilet flushed, and bum properly cleaned. Ah. Wait, NO! Rhianna! the rocking horse is NOT meant to be a stepstool for the coffee table. Resume normal daily activity.