Ok. Today's post is a nagging reality for all (youngish) designers.

I'm a graphic designer. I get paid to design. I have been trained to do this. While I am certainly not the best designer in the world, please trust me when I tell you that I am a professional.

As a designer, I am constantly overwhelmed by how little respect I am given for my skills. In the same breath, someone will praise a publication I've designed, then ask if there's a community ed class that will teach them how to do the same thing. Ok. Here it is folks. I went to school for 4 years and have been working as a designer for 5 years. In my sweetest, trying-not-to-show-my-offense-to-the-question voice, the answer is: No. There isn't a two-hour class that will teach you all that I know. I don't know everything there is to know, but I am 100 percent confident that I know more than will fit in a $60, two-hour how-to class. Please, stop asking.

I am thrilled that there is interest in design and that joe-shmoe likes the work I have done, but why are they so anxious to replace me? I don't say to the nurse, "Hey, that's cool that you can give shots, is there a class I can take to learn how to do that so I don't have to pay you to do it?" I don't ask our banker, "huh, that seems really easy, can I take a class and write my own mortgage?" No. They are professionals and I respect that they are more capable than I at their craft. Let's move on.

The Gap

Well, we've been working hard all weekend on encouraging proper potty practice and things are moving along fine. Granted, she isn't reliable at using the potty, but defintely seems to be identifying when she needs to (or at least when she did) pee or poop. The only real setback at this point is that Rhianna has a little attitude on her and in the time it takes for her to do her grumpy face and then give in to heading towards the potty, we've missed the window and she's already started to pee. Ah well, it will come in time I'm sure.

After being housebound for two days, Dave and I decided we should go to Applebee's for dinner last night -- mostly to get out of the house although Dave was very enthusiastic about the apple-something-or-other for dessert once we got there. Anyway, about two bites into our meal Rhianna announces "POOP!" So, encouraged by her enthusiasm, I rushed her to the bathroom. It turns out that she'd peed in her diaper and the pronounced "POOP!" translated into parent-speak for "I already went you fool! Haha, you missed it." But the experience shed light on a new potty plight.

This one is called: Baby Butts and the Gap.

Long story short, public pots have a gap in the front of the toilet seat. My guess that the purpose of this gap is to give men an extra inch or so of dribble space since (apparently) aiming those last few drops is difficult. All in all, I'm sure the Gap saves countless potty-goers from sitting directly on top of some previous user's leftovers. The engineering, it would seem, was good foresight. But there is a little problem. That little problem is Rhianna's little butt -- which is about the same size as the Gap, When taking a mini-person to a public pot, this five-inch Gap suddenly became a mile-high hurdle. My first instinct was to put her on sideways. There were two problems with this plan. First, she had no idea what the heck was going on. The toilet is foriegn enough, but now she's expected to go sideways. Hm. That one she might be able to get used to over time. Second setback to sideways sitting? In order for her to go on the big-potty she has to hold herself up so she doesn't fall in (FYI, she did fall in once at home and didn't think it was fun at all -- we, as supportive parents, tried really, REALLY hard not to laugh). Ok, back to sideways sitting. Are you picturing this? A sideways-sitting one-year-old with hands looking for something to hold onto on either side. One hand on the back of the toilet, no problem. The other hand -- seeing the problem yet? -- RIGHT IN THE LEFTOVERS. Yuk. Really. YUCK! So I'm putting it out to you Internet, Baby Butts and the Gap, any ideas??

Potty Pride

Rhianna peed AND pooped in the potty today -- two SEPARATE trips!! I'm so excited I can't even tell you. Last night, she fell off the stool next to the potty and cracked her head hard on the cabinet under the sink. I was sure this would be the major setback that would prevent Rhianna from going in the potty until she was seven. But luckily, it was paranoia on my part. The other exciting thing about this is that she did it on the real toilet -- no potty ring or anything! HURRAY! I might not have to carry that thing around with me until she's 4!

More updates: SIL Jen has informed me that I am the official extra swiper. Ok, so how do I get in there to get her clean I asked? "Have her stick her tushie out or have her bend over." Motherhood is gross.

All aboard the Potty Train

One of the phases of early parenting that I've been dreading has arrived. Potty training.

Rhianna started showing interest so we've climbed aboard the potty train. I have been nervous about this ever since I realize I would be resposible for teaching this very important skill to another human. And though some of my fears have been relieved -- She seems excited about going, she initiated it and hopefully will reliably use the potty and be out of diapers before she is five years old -- this is way more complicated than I thought it would be. There is a hundred things that I'm realizing need to be taught that I don't quite know how to explain to a person of... limited communication skills. Here are a few of the issues that have come to light in the past few days:

Item number one: Wiping. Rhianna's managed to pee and poop in the potty a couple of times. Her "reward" for doing this is that she gets to use the toilet paper and then flush -- Which, by the way, you should never teach your child to do until you are prepared for the toilet to be flushed about 387 times in one day because it is a very exciting new skill for a toddler. Anyway, she's enthusiastic about using the paper and seems to understand it's about cleaning things. She dabs just fine -- although doesn't really get herself dry -- but she doesn't seem to think her bottom is the only thing that needs to be cleaned after the potty experience. After wiping her bottom, she proceeds to clean her legs, the toilet seat, the bathtub and then use this same Kleenex-type tissue to wipe her nose. OK. Did you catch that? That means she's rubbing her nose with USED toilet paper. Gross. And even once we get that nipped in the bud, how the heck do you get them to really make sure their bottom is clean/dry? I mean, is Mom supposed to do an extra swipe? Obviously, I'm very new to this young-person in the bathroom routine.

Item number two: farting. So she doesn't yet associate the pre-pee sensation to "I better get to the potty" but she does seem to understand that the poop sensation has something to do with the toilet -- and, of course, the almighty flushing. What does this mean? In the last two days we have visited the potty 6 times for her to fart. I mean, it's good that she's connecting the dots I suppose.... but should I really introduce the word "fart"? Sure, a little girl coming to mommy saying "poop" is perfectly understandable, but a 19-month-old running around saying "fart" just isn't all that endearing.

Item number three: Panties. Ok, this one is simple. Rhianna is very small for her age and they don't make panties or pullups in her size. It seems like a bad idea to let her go commando so she'll end up with saggy panties (read: only the waistband actually touches her body) until she's probably around three years old.

Item number four: Potty Ring. In order to potty train a child with a little bum, you can either buy a potty chair for them to use (which requires that you dump and clean their... yeah) or you can get a seat that goes on top of the regular toilet that just has a smaller opening so they aren't at risk of falling in (with this option, you also need a stool so that they can get all the way up to the potty). We have the former that converts to the latter. The details aren't important except to understand that she really will only use the potty if the smaller seat is on top. So here's my question: Do I have to carry this damn potty seat everywhere we go? Ugh.

Item number five: Spray. Owen is officially Dave's job for potty training. I get the girl. Therefore, I never considered spray might be an issue. After all, I've never sat on the pot and had the stream, well, miss the toilet. As long as I'm properly seated, the merchandise pretty much goes where it's supposed to. Aiming, as far as I'm concerned, is a boy thing -- unless of course we're camping, but that's another story altogether. Anyway. After about a week of potty training, I have to ask: How is it possible for a GIRL to be sitting correctly on the potty and spray the room? I have NO idea how to approach this one except to steer clear of the two feet directly in front of the potty.

2007 begins

The year has begun without much ado. We are hoping Owen will sleep through the night soon, but it might be a little while yet. Rhianna has officially moved to her big-girl bed (grown-up translation: twin bed) and seems to enjoy the novelty of a pillow and tucked in sheets. She has yet to fall or lauch herself off of it in the middle of the night so we are proud of her. Owen is growing tremendously. His head seems like it's about the same size as Rhianna's already! He's working on pushing up on his hands and sitting. He likes to stand (assisted obviously) a lot too so he might be an early walker like Rhianna. The next major challenge on the horizon is potty training. But I think we'll wait until Mom and Dad both get a good night's sleep before we tackle that challenge.