One of THEM

I realized yesterday when I was on the phone with one of my single friends that I've become a Mommy. I know what you're thinking, shouldn't I have figured this out when I was in labor? No. Not a mother, I mean, a MOMMY. I'm sitting there listening to my friend talk about her boyfriends and bar outings and all I could think about was, "didn't I tell her Rhianna is WALKING? Why the hell doesn't she think that this is the most interesting thing EVER!?"

I've officially beceome ONE OF THEM. One of the moms whose main interests are diapers and first steps. What happened to me? I used to talk about all sorts of interesting, ADULT things and now my conversations seem to revolve almost entirely on "cute things my 10-month-old did" or "How do I get her to (insert behavior here)." I mean, it's not that I'm not interested in my friends' lives. But somehow, becoming a mommy has a horrible side effect. I can no longer stay focused on the "should I call him back or wait until he calls?" dialogue for more than 20 second. And along with the special skill aquired by all mommies of how to change the diaper of a wriggling baby, I can veer any given conversation to the return of the nipple-leak-spot and the "how to soften baby poops" dilemma. I feel like I'm not being a good friend.

* so what do you think about all this illegal immigrant stuff that's been in the news?
- Let me tell you about immigration. I built a wall out of chairs to keep Rhianna out of the kitchen and what do you know! she figured out how to crawl through the legs. Man it's amazing watching her figure these things out.
* hmm.. yeah. that's facinating, so what do you think about the possibility of nuclear bombing Iran?
- I think they should just send some baby-poop-pellets. I can't believe how much STANK comes out of those little suckers. Whoa.

Another example was talking to my soon-to-be-married girlfriend. She's very considerate about my mommy-ness, but when I have to say "not you" a million times in the conversation, it's downright distracting. Do other Mommies do this? Example conversation :
* Did I tell you about my wedding dress?
- No! What does it look like?
* Well, it has a..
- Take your finger out of there!
* What?
- Not you, Rhianna's got her finger in her nose. About your dress.
* Oh, right, it's white, of course, and it has a small..
- Put your bottom down.
* uh...
- Not you, Rhianna's standing in the tub. Go on.
* it has a small train and a...
- Where did you get THAT?
* Uh... it came with the dress...
- No no, not you, Rhianna found a CD in the bathtub, how did that GET in there?!?
* Hey Bridget, I uhm.... should go... uh.... send the invites again or something..
- Oh, ok, well, send me a picture of your dress, it sounds beautiful!

Oh fellow Mommy friends, what have I become?! And to the sane world, I'm sorry to put you through this. I'm hoping to regain my sanity soon. Unfortunately, prospects for this decade seem to be dwindling. If only I could have a margarita, maybe alcohol would bring back the fun in me. Too bad that's off limits for a while.